Lifestyle

Making a Marriage Last: Following The 5 C’s

Getting married? Newly wed? Looking for answers on succeeding in your marriage?

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I read somewhere that 50% of marriages end in divorce these days. Why? Is it so accepted and easily accessible now that people no longer care to work through their problems? I believe that marriage is a gift, a one-time giving of the self to a special person that you’ve chosen. It should be cherished and fought for.

While I will admit that I am no relationship expert, I have been married for 7 years and I can speak to the things that I have learned through our marriage. With the many roles and responsibilities that husbands and wives serve outside of each other, it can get hard to work on a marriage. And trust me, marriage is WORK. I am trying to write this in an unbiased way, I believe that these apply to both men and women. Practice the following 5 C’s together to show a high level of respect, keeping your union strong for years to come.

 

The 5 C’s of A Successful and Happy Marriage

 

Commitment – If you’ve already said “I do”, chances are you’ve already made a commitment to them. This means that you have to be in the mind set that you and your partner are now ONE. Once you do so, you must love and accept your partner as is. If you do not think you are ready to be ONE, or are on the fence about it, you are not likely to stay happily married. Spouses must not only be monogamously committed sexually, but you must also commit your love, time, care, guidance, and whole self.

 

Care – About each others feelings. What may matter most to him may not matter much to you, but you have to put in on the forefront. She’s stressed and over worked? Help her out. He wants more sex? Give it to him. Selflessness on both sides is required, or something is going to fall through the cracks. You must have the utmost respect for one another, keeping your relationship truthful, open and honest. If you just don’t care, you won’t do any of these things.

 

Compromise – You can’t be selfish. Point blank. There will always be times that you disagree with your partner, and they will disagree with you. You must pick and choose your battles. Also, you cannot make household, child, or life altering decisions on your own. This affects the whole family, and anything that is decided upon must first be agreed upon by both parties. Don’t expect it to be fair, you may have to be the bigger person.

 

Confirmation – This is a way of reassuring your partner about your marriage. Security is important, so spending quality time, a simple “I love you”, or even so much as a random, loving gesture is important. Insecurities can form, so even if you are comfortable in your routine, your partner still needs to know he or she is loved.

 

Communication – I think this is the biggest of them all. If you cannot communicate your needs and hear out your partner, you are destined to fail. Communication comprises all of the above C’s, none of them will work without it. I am a firm believer that effective communication can solve many problems, helping both spouses understand each other’s wants and needs. Having a problem? Talk about it. Write a letter. If you don’t, you’ll keep it pent up inside you and  your marriage will eventually wither away.

 

Can’t follow along with these premises in your marriage? It won’t last. There will always be ups and downs, twists and turns, but you both need to be willing to hold on for the ride. Neither you nor your spouse are perfect. Every single marriage has financial, children, and health issues, but a mutual respect for each other is what keeps the engine running. So ask yourself: Am I selflessly following the 5 C’s? Is my partner? After all, you’re both in it with the same goal: to stay deeply in love with each other and spend your lives together.

 

Remember, you made a conscious choice to get married, and with that, you also chose to live that life with your spouse. If you cannot or will not live up to the standards set forth in your relationship, your marriage will become a disaster.

 

How do you keep your marriage afloat?

 

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8 Comments

  • My motto is if it doesn’t truly matter to you (As in, it’s not against your morals or illegal) than you should compromise with one another for peace. Truly, does it matter which way you put the toilet paper on the holder?

    Compromise and communication (Which equals trust and being able to trust) are the two most important. Also realizing that love isn’t a feeling. It’s a commitment. I may feel like chopping your toes off for eating my chocolate, but I still love you because I chose to love you…

  • I think it’s important to know how your partner needs to be loved, and how you need to be show love. Those two things are so important because so many people have no idea how their spouse needs to be shown love. And everyone communicates differently, you have to know how your spouse communicates so you can have meaningful conversations. Great post.

  • Marriage isn’t easy that is for sure. It takes work and extreme dedication especially during the hard times. Most people take the easy way out when the going gets rough. Since remarrying, I realized that it is important to always go on dates with your spouse and make the time to spend with them. This helps you remember why you fell in love and a great way to keep your marriage alive. Not dating yours spouse can lead to problems.

  • I agree with all of them! We celebrate our 15th anniversary next week (which is pretty huge, since we were 20 and 21 when we got married). Your 5 C’s are all important – and the selfless part is especially true. I know I find myself thinking “How can I help him?” ” I know he would do this for me…” etc.

    One of my friends told me that marriage is the “divine sandpaper” – which is true! You are constantly having to remove the rough edges to fit with your spouse – and to be willing to be sanded down – exposing new areas for growth.

    Marriage isn’t easy, in my experience – some days, weeks, months, YEARS may be harder than others, but my commitment to my spouse (and his to me) pulls us to the other side.

    If only one spouse is following these, then the marriage won’t work. And it’s not 50%-50%, it’s 100%-100%!

    • Yes, I think communication and selflessness are a huge deal. The truth is, both spouses need to go above and beyond, something we may not want to do. But we gotta do it!

    • I love this 100-100 comment. I never thought of it this way, but you are so right. Marriage really is about giving that other person every part of you and being completely transparent as well..

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