Parenting can be hard, but don’t fret! Here’s how you know you’re doing a good job as a parent – do you have these qualities of good parents? Relax, you’re doing just fine.
Whether it’s divorce, financial status, the size of your house, your education, or ability to provide life’s extras, we constantly feel like we’re failing our kids by not being able to do more. “I wish I could afford a vacation, the Smith’s are taking 5 day trip to Maui this summer.” “I don’t know if I want to go through with a divorce, it will take toll on the kids.” “I wish I had time to be able to sterilize the house, cook 5 course meals, volunteer at school, ___________ like stay at home moms do.” OR “I wish I could find employment outside of the house.”
Well, let me reference the famed words of Elsa: Let it go.
Am I a good mom? Most likely, YES! Stop being so hard on yourself, you’re doing a good job as a parent so stop comparing your parenting style with others. We all want what we don’t have. I admit that I would love to have more time to spend with my kids, maybe just read one more book, or spend 5 more minutes chasing them around on the playground. But I know that I am doing my best, and that’s really all their is to it. So, I’m releasing the guilt, the comparison, the (somewhat) shame, and realizing that I possess the qualities of good parents, providing the optimal environment and care for my littles to the absolute BEST of my ability!
Here are 3 ways I know I’m doing a good job as a parent
1. My kids are healthy and appropriately nourished on a daily basis
Nourishment is essential, the mind, body and soul need it to survive. Kids have to be fed, clothed, bathed, educated, touched and loved. Sometimes by others. Sometimes by you. And that’s ok. As long as you have a caregiver that you trust, and you’re open, honest, tender and loving when you do have your time with your kids, giving them all you’ve got, it’s all good! This is a big part of what makes a good parent.
2. I treat them the way I want them to treat others
This is so important, raising upstanding citizens means acting appropriately. Everything you do, the way to talk to them, treat them, look at them, talk about them, carry yourself in public, and the way you treat others is quite the learning experience for kids to learn how they will carry themselves. Excessive yelling, physical and emotional abuse, and neglect are definite no-no’s. Outside of mental issues, parents are generally responsible for the outcome of their kids. We are the first and most influential people in a child’s life, lead by example.
3. They are genuinely happy
One way to tell that you’re doing a good job as a parent is to see that your kids are generally happy. Everyone has their moments, we get upset and argue here and there. You can tell if your kids are happy. Do they smile, laugh, feel encouraged in general? Is their environment affecting them positively? Do they say ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ for little random things? I realize that age and mental ability is a factor here, but knowing your child means you should know if they’re genuinely happy person.
You know what makes a good parent
Really, if you KNOW that you’re doing your best, that’s all there is to it. It’s not about the amount of money you have, the amount of vacations you go on (or don’t), how clean your house is, or your ability to volunteer in your child’s class every week or make Pinterest worthy homemade meals each night for dinner. These are not the necessary qualities of good parents! And for what it’s worth, I think it’s important that your kids see your failures, whatever they may be, and watch how you convert them to successes. Just the reality of life, you know what makes a good parent, failure is normal (these kids and social media disasters prove it) and isn’t it great that your kids are learning from the best possible person? YOU!
Just do your personal best, and everything else will fall into place.
Be the happy, healthy example that you’d like to see in them.