Do you know a part-time mom? It’s something you rarely hear about.
People always talk about married mothers, single mothers, never-married-single-mothers, and child support, but who’s talking about the part-time mom? The mom who splits the kids and has joint custody with another adult, therefore only having half of the responsibilities, and having them around half the time? Where is all of the talk about the mom who gets the kids every other weekend, and is not able to control who is around them and what they are being exposed to when you’re not around? The mom who has to cringe while compromising with someone, of which the two weren’t able to effectively communicate in the first place? And who constantly has to keep in contact with the other parent to facilitate school pick ups, joint payments, consistency with discipline and behavioral issues, and all of these other things? I am that type of mom.
Well, i’ll be the first to say it: being a part-time mom SUCKS. For me, it has only been two weeks. When I first moved out, it was spring break so my kids started off at their dads house. That first week was the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. I have never lived alone, or really been alone for that matter, so all of a sudden I felt like everything was gone. I have a small apartment with very little furniture and boxes lining the walls, an empty kitchen, and an empty bedroom. The place was so silent that I could hear every little noise, every little creek, and every little gust of wind.
This week, I have the kids and I feel so much better. They are truly my world. I have had to wake up earlier to get them to school, which I live a little further from, take a couple of extra trips to to get a forgotten backpack, baseball uniform to their dad, and even a pair of shoes for a school jog-a-thon that we’re left at home. This is new for everyone, and frustrating, but we’re all learning. No matter what happens, how much energy they take out of me, how exhausted I am, or how upset I get at times, I would never trade it. They are still young, only 7 and 3, and I know that’s what comes with the territory. Before I know it, they’ll be headed off to college, so I am glad to be able to make as many memories with them as I can.
I really hope that next week goes smoothly, i’d hate to relapse into feeling so lonely again. I am sure that this feeling will pass, but gosh it sucks. I just miss them so much. I need to look at the brighter side of things and realize that this is free time, a rarity in the average mom’s life. I’ll try to take this time to knock out some errands, finish organizing my apartment, exercise, rest up and take care of myself. Dramatic life changes are never easy, I know i’ll make it. I guess I just need time to settle.
First world problems, I know.